Congratulations for the “New Job”. Starting a new job is always exciting and sometime nerve wrecking. You don’t know anyone, and you want to prove how “incredible” you are. Here are a few rules that will help you make the right impression on your boss and integrate with your new team.


During the first few days in your new job, have meeting with your boss to understand your job role and his/ hers expectations from you. Once you are clear on your deliverables (WHAT you need to deliver), concentrate on the HOW.

Understand “HOW” the high – performers in your team – work, relate to each other and handle the boss. This will help you create a stencil for your own success at work.



Hired for a new job, start building your network from day 1. The people you must network with during the initial phase are 1> team members 2> colleagues from others team who impact input to / output from your work 3 > opinion makers with clout in your department / company 4 > high performers who have handled similar job.

A strong network will ensure that your work goes smoothly, there is a better reception for your suggestions / ideas and you understand office dynamics.

While you are networking , be sure to set your boundaries. Ensure that people know how  and when to approach you and for what. You should not regret later that people  consider you too easy going or take  you for granted  or think of you as unapproachable.



The easiest and the worst mistake to make at a new job / new company is to compare it with your previous job, boss, colleagues or processes/ policies of your previous companies. I know that it feels good to suggest improvement in processes based on your previous experience, but unless specifically asked for – do not antagonize your current team by comparing things.

If you want to suggest changes, makes use of what if scenarios or why don’t we try approach. Also, try to identify opinion builders in your team and get their buy in on changes you want to suggest. This will ensure better receptivity for your idea.



Having a strong network is one thing, having an office partner is another.  An office partner is someone who will provide you with an ear, when you want to crib. Will cheer you on as you handle a difficult project & act as your sounding board.

To find an office partner be one, and ensure that whatever is shared with you is not used as gossip fodder with another.



The easiest way to create a strong network is by offering to help. Based on bandwidth available, take on projects no one else wants. Offer to help someone who seems to be struggling or someone who has been assigned a huge project – check with them what needs to be done and deliver.



Identify something related to your job that you love doing or are good at and develop the skills to become an expert. You could be the Digital Marketing expert or the manager who develops promotable talent.

Your specific expertise will help you stand-out within the company.



Don’t expect your manager to develop you. Identify your own career path and attend trainings, take on relevant projects of if need be create your own project. Develop yourself so as to grow in your new role and for future.


Follow these commandments and be successful in your new job.



hate your job

There are loads of people who hate their job; the job is just a chore. Waking up and going to office makes they feel sick. They are just looking forward for the day to end the week to pass. And you may currently one of them.

Even before we start discussing what to do when you hate your job, it’s important to understand why you hate your job. I suggest that you make a list of all the things that you do not like about your job. They could be work related reasons like a difficult manager , less salary, long work hours or personal reasons like you do not like the work you do or don’t like the way company works. Some of these reasons can be managed by having a discussion with you manager / HR, but here are few things that you can do on your own to make you feel more productive and less disengaged.

  • LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE: Sometimes the easiest thing to do when you are feeling disengaged at work is to focus on the positive aspects of work and how your current job is contributing to help you build the career you want. (If this does not help and you are still feeling struck, read on)
  • CHALLENGE YOURSELF: Set weekly / monthly challenges for yourself. The high of achievement will help you get rid of the boredom and will also help you to add to your resume in case you have to take the ultimate decision of changing the company.
  • DO SOMETHING NEW: Take on new tasks/ projects. Ask for additional responsibility at work. Be part of cross functional teams. The connection with people and the motivation that comes from doing a new thing will help you get engaged.
  • DEVELOP NEW SKILLS: Instead of just looking at your current job, look at the next step in your career path. Identify the skills that are required to do that and work on developing them while working on your current job. Always remember that by developing new skills you are making yourself more valuable in your current role and improving your opportunities for your future career growth and success.
  • IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UPTO ME: In the end, remember that if you are disengaged at work only YOU can do something about it. Take initiative, talk to people about your concerns, don’t just complain but work on an action plan. Time to take action is NOW.

Have you been through such a situation or are going through such a situation. Feel free to share your concerns and tips.




  1. Lack clarity about your own goals and expectations: If you don’t where you are going or what you want to get out of the relationship. How can your mentor help you?
  2. Expect to be spoon fed: As a corollary to above allow your mentor to define the goals, the road map & outcome of relationship. Make him give you guidelines and deadlines for every assignment. Ensure you never take initiative for anything.
  3. Prove to be unworthy of trust: Do not keep any confidentiality. Badmouth your mentor in case of things going wrong.  Fail to follow through on meeting commitments.
  4. Be too aggressive: Act as if you have birth right claim on mentor’s time. Do not accept any constructive feedback. Do things your way even if mentor suggests some new ideas and approaches. After all how can mentor know more about your situation than you?
  5. Disrespect Mentors time & efforts: Do not respect mentors time, reschedule / cancel your meetings without prior intimation.  Or call on him to ask for advice at any time.
  6. Do not learn from mistakes: Make mistakes over and over again without showing any signs of progress will have a negative impact on your mentor and will be very discouraging. Do not close the learning loop.
  7. Always bring problems: Always bring problems (even if they are similar to what you have faced in past) without thinking about solutions. If you mentor asks you about your perspective – stay blank. If your mentor gives you various tools that you can use to find solutions, forget about them as soon as the next problem comes.
  8. Steal credit: Never share credit with you mentor for things that go well. Do not even inform the mentor that you got appreciated for a task you completed with your mentors help. If possible publicize the ideas as your own.
 (photo courtesy : stockimages/freedigitalphotos.net)




1>              Be confused: Be indecisive and drive your employees crazy by continuous flip-flopping. You can do so  by ensuring

  • No big picture: Don’t have a clear vision of what your employees are supposed to accomplish & achieve in long term, if you yourself don’t know – how your team can know what and when to do.
  • Don’t make up your mind: When any employee comes to you with a problem, never give a clear answer. If they give you options, keep fluctuating between them.  Be confused and keep confusing them.

2>              Disrespect them:  Talk over them, belittle their ideas, ignore their input, criticize them unfairly, and shout at them in front of everyone. Take every opportunity to make them lose their face in front of others. You can also show disrespect for them by not valuing their time, ordering them about, de-valuing their work etc.

3>              Micromanage your team: Micromanage your team members every step of the way, instead of guiding them on how they can do better – keep the control with you. Ensure that you know every detail of what they’re working on and leave them no room to take decisions on their own. Dictate their every step. This will ensure that your employees never rise to their full potential and learn to hate you.

4>              Be Clueless: If you don’t like micro-managing, you can be clueless. Never discuss the project / assignment progress and the challenges if any being faced by employee. Ensure that you are not in loop in any of the communication or decision making. If anything goes wrong blame the employee.

5>              Over commit: Give commitments to your bosses / clients without checking the feasibility with your team.  Do it regularly and not as one – off case. Don’t prioritize and make them do everything, even if it means putting in longer hours at work or, working on weekends. Make them chase impossible deadlines, always.

6>              Act as if they have no life: Ask your employees to work late and assign them more work than they can do. Never approve any vacation or make them cancel their vacation plan. Feel free to email, text, and call them after hours, even if they don’t take your call or check the email, they will feel guilty for not working on weekends, when their boss is. Continuous guilt and stress will ensure that they hate you.

7>              Communication Barriers : Create blockades on the two communication street

  • Never share information: Don’t share any information you have with your team, keep them in dark. Let them hear things from grapevine, but don’t react. Do not provide any feedback to the team, while they are doing the task , you can always talk to them if things go wrong.
  • Don’t Listen: Never take any feedback or hear the concerns of your team members. If someone comes to you to discuss things ignore them, look at your screen or mobile phone or shout at them. Ensure that no clear communication happens.

8>               Don’t give them the resources they need to be successful: Don’t mentor your employees to grow in their careers. Don’t invest in the tools that they need to do their job well, be it in terms of technology or training. Let them try to achieve results in today’s world using yesterday’s processes / tools.

9>              Pass of your own work: Never do any work on your own, ask your team members to do anything and everything you don’t want to do. Take extra work from your boss and make your team do it. Earn the credit, without doing an extra days work.

10>         Be negative: Be overtly critical, share only negative news. Find ways to find faults in anything and everything. Berate all the efforts put in by the team. Never reward or appreciate your team members.

11>         Don’t stand up for your team: Be it the promotion or raise they deserve or deadlines they were not able to meet due to genuine reasons. Never stand up for them. Never lead from front. Sacrifice your employees to reach your goals.

12>          Never be a role model: Never “walk the talk”. There should be no relation between what you say and what you do. Lie about figures and facts or try to hide them. Never act as a team player. Don’t demonstrate any people management skill. Don’t follow rules and procedures but make your employees follow everything.

13>         Play favourites: Give interesting projects, increment, chances of promotion only to those who follow your every command. Those who snitch and act as your informers in the team.

14>         Don’t be professional: Be incompetent, feel free to gossip, and leave all your manners at home. Take credit for your employees’ ideas and achievements. Ensure you don’t prioritize. Call for unplanned meetings. Waste time in meeting by asking unnecessary questions, and circling back on points. Keep kissing up to your boss while kicking your subordinates.


The above tips will ensure that you are the most hated boss your team has ever had.


(PS: Don’t take everything written literally and reflect on the points above. The actions you take may make the life of your team members easier and reduce their daily stress)





Here are some easy ways to destroy your career and make yourself unemployable.  Follow them at your risk.


TALK ILL OF YOUR COMPANY & YOUR BOSS DURING EXIT. Word of your poor parting will get around to common professional networks and competitors of your old company. HR and Hiring Managers in some companies will red flag you as “NON-TEAM PLAYER” & “IMMATURE” -making you UNEMPLOYABLE


If you are still called for interview – you can continue a>bad mouthing previous employer / colleagues for creating desired wrong impression or b > act arrogant – ask for unreasonable increase in salary or unjustified designation / profile or c > waste the time of interviewer, send them unwarranted mails. End Result: Company will think twice before making you an offer, making you mostly UNEMPLOYABLE.


There are various ways to ensure that you are terminated from your current job, some that you can easily use are

1 > Don’t pull your weight at work: Slack at work, take as many leaves as you can. Make your colleagues do your work. Don’t follow deadlines.  Don’t update others and follow up when required. Don’t work as your KPI’s.  Steal credit.

2> Don’t follow company policies: Come late, leave early. Have extended lunch, tea / coffee breaks. Waste time, surfing the web , answering personal mails ,  playing games etc. Use the company provided tools for personal use.

3> Don’t be a people person: Be rude to colleagues and customers. Bully the subordinates, harass the colleagues of opposite gender, and use politically incorrect words. Take credit for the work done by them.

4> Spread negativity: Talk bad about each and everything in your company. Spread rumours. Gossip. Blame others and act as a hindrance in others jobs.

5> Act unethical: If the above does not get you fired , take bribes. Give contracts to friends and relatives. Accept kickbacks.



  1. JOB HOPPING ( instability )
  2. STAGNATE ( Don’t develop yourself to match current / future expectations )
  3. MISUSE NETWORK ( Don’t network or network selfishly )


The above tips will help to ensure that you lose the job you have and never get a job again.


Struck in comfort zone – 3 Tips to help you break free


(Image courtesy David Castillo Dominici @Freedigitalphotos.net )

Want to know if you are struck in a comfort zone – try free quiz on personal coaching site http://www.becoached4success.com/free-downloads.html

If you are still reading on, you must have realised that you are struck in your comfort zone. Comfort zone may mean relaxed pace, no risk but it usually leads to sense of complacency and boredom –we stop evolving & growing & face entropy – the dreaded decay.

Don’t look so dismayed. The very fact that you are reading this blog means you are ready to act, ready to break free from the shackles of comfort & enjoy the roller coaster that any new change brings. Here, are a few tips that will help you.

  • Create a list of your fears & your dreams: List down all the things you want to achieve in your life, all the dreams you have. Now make a list of all your fears & all the things which are holding you back from achieving your hearts desires. Define activities that will help you face your fears and get out of this comfort pit.

           An example action sheet

Start Own Business

    1. Business Plan Approval: Get the business plan approved for loan by bank. Will help to plug any gaps in business plan & give confidence in regards with actual feasibility

    2. Financial health: Get your financial advisor to help you create investment plans so as to enable you to meet all you expenses till your business breaks even + to manage any emergencies.

    3. Get a business coach

  • Love yourself : No matter what your weight or health – accept yourself and love yourself. Eat healthy, work out, wear the best clothes you can and always remember this is the only body you have. Take care of it. Every day look into the mirror focus on what you’re doing right, and speak positively to yourself. Realistic constructive self-talk helps in reducing stress, gives self-confidence, and help you put more enjoyment into your lifeSelf-love gives you confidence to try out new things and not fear the risks of breaking free from comfort zone.

  • Try something new every-day: The simple act of trying a new activity can help people move beyond their comfort zones. You can start by enrolling for a new class (fitness or cooking or drama or tarot) or try a new cuisine or any small change in your daily routine. The act of trying something unfamiliar will probably be uncomfortable at first but remember that feeling a little uncertain isn’t going to hurt you.



Using anger constructively

I recently booked my first car and before you start wondering whats great about it , let me tell you a secret. I have car driving phobia , have seen so many carcasses of street dogs hit by a vehicle and for other personal reasons never wanted to drive. I never needed to as the option of radio cabs was always there , till I got frustrated and angered by the radio cab services. The anger made me face my fear of driving and inspect all my fears. End result soon to be proud owner of a new car , my first car.

The anger has been used in the past to bring about the changes. Think of either struggle for independence , voting rights for women or our current fight against corruption – they’ve all been the result of anger of people against situation.

We can all harness the energy of anger to bring in constructive changes we desire. We can use it to motivate us and use it to push harder for what we want as it makes us strong and powerful.

Here’s something which can help you with using anger :

  • Ask yourself what angers you – it could be your land -lord , harping about the rent money, your parents pressurizing you about your grades , your boss who’s not promoting you/ raising your salary etc
  • Stop being unproductive – getting angry in all the above situations is seemingly unproductive. So, you do nothing — that is, until you get mad enough about the way things are that you finally spring into action.
  • Stop being a victim – focus this angry energy to re-examine your beliefs , what makes you feel you deserve a raise/ promotion . Its not an entitlement based on number of years in service. What have been your achievements during the year, what have you saved the company , when was the last time you discussed the achievements with your boss. Think long , think hard. This will help you to come up with a plan for achieving your hearts desire – more money , better grades , successful relationships , promotions etc.
  • Stick to your plans – go after what you want with full faith and achieve all that you dream of.


5 Exercises to change destructive thought patterns


The most difficult thing to change in our lives is our thought patterns. Limiting thought patterns can lead to dysfunctional behavior and feelings, resulting in unsatisfying relationships with self, career, others, and health.

The first step in changing is recognizing our thought patterns and identifying those that limit us (see previous exercise).

Here, we will discuss various exercises to retrain the brain & change the destructive thought patterns


  1. Alternate thought script

Use the following table to help you create an alternate positive thought script to replace the current script. If you write the thought scripts every day for a few weeks, you will come up with better alternatives & the repetitive reinforcement of positive thoughts will help you to change your thought patterns

Situation Initial Thought Type of Pattern Belief or Fact Challenge the belief Alternate Script
Made a major blunder at work I am a failure everyone will laugh at me and think of me as a failure Self-labelling & catastrophic Fact : I made a mistakeBelief : Initial thought I make mistake sometimes but am usually correct, I have achieved x , y , z in my career.  I learn from my mistakes. I don’t have to be perfect at everything. A mistake does not mean I am a failure
  1. Affirmations

What does research say about affirmations?

“An emerging set of published studies suggest that a brief self-affirmation activity at the beginning of a school term can boost academic grade-point averages in underperforming kids at the end of the semester. This new work suggests a mechanism for these studies, showing self-affirmation effects on actual problem-solving performance under pressure,” said J. David Creswell, assistant professor of psychology in CMU’s Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences.

Here we will use the power of affirmations to bring about a change in negative thinking process.

Anybody can create affirmations, self-created affirmations work better as they address the uniqueness in us. All that one needs to keep in mind while writing affirmation is

  1.              I.        It should always be positive : Instead of “I am not a failure” try “ I am successful”
  2.            II.        Affirmations should be in present tense : “I find it easy to think positively”
  3.           III.        It should be believable ,  take incremental steps in the process of affirmations

E.g. Situation: Introvert who is not able to talk to people

Thought : Everyone must be laughing at me , I make a fool of myself while talking with people , I can never make friends , I will never succeed.

You make like to start by affirming your positive qualities

“I observe & understand people”, “I am a good listener”

Moving on to

“I find it easy to talk with individuals who I know”

And later on

“I like talking with people and making new friends”

  1.           IV.        Repeat the affirmations as often as possible to allow them to be part of your subconscious mind

PS: Use the alternate script in exercise 1 to create relevant affirmations

  1. Gratitude Journal

Before going to the bed write down 5 positive things that happened during the day. This is a very important exercise as it will help you create alternate positive thought scripts and add weightage to your affirmations.

  1. Burn the Negative thoughts

At the end of everyday write down all the negative thought scripts & burn them, visualize negative thoughts being burned away from your brain slowly but steadily.

  1. Thought Ritual

Every morning – do 5 jumping jacks , look up at sky / celling , smile widely & speak aloud  – “I am going to have a great day” after this read your last night entry from gratitude journal and read / speak your affirmations & repeat positive thought script.

PS: The last two exercises are only rituals but the powerful imagery attaches itself easily to our subconscious minds.

Stay Positive !!!

Image courtesy of Archipoch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net